The Professor’s Lament
In spring the co-eds blossom,
While I simply age,
Not like a good, mellow wine
Or the patina of a Turkaman,
That would be some consolation,
But more like an abandoned orchard,
Its remaining fruit blighted
With nasty brown dots,
Its tremulous limbs
Barely able to sustain
Their own weight.
So my advice is this:
Young men,
Strike while your iron is hot,
And strike again
As often as you can,
For when it cools
And you’re left with only
A leering imagination,
No amount of ironing
Can make the wrinkles disappear
Regardless of what
The label says.
(originally published in Parable Press)