after thirty years of

finding his dirty dishes

in conspicuous places

his wife appeared one morning

with a dual-action pistol

and forced him to load the washer

at gunpoint

cleaning up the mess

he left in the bathroom

was another matter

requiring methods of persuasion

more gruesome

than I care to detail here

suffice it to say that

when I went to shake his hand

the tips of his fingers

had been noticeably shortened

one can only guess

how she dealt with

his infidelity

(Originally published in Storyacious)