Sweet Things
What he loved most of all Were sweet things, Blueberry jelly Bursting from the doughnut And dribbling down his chin, Ice cream spotting his nose As he licked the cone, Chocolate icing Shaved from a cake In the middle of… Read more ›
Category Archives: On the Lighter Side
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The Golem and I
I was a scrawny kid with two left feet who stumbled over cracks in sidewalks and could not bear to see a caterpillar set afire or a butterfly stripped of its wings. I was always falling, from monkeybars and swings… Read more ›
Your Own Kind
My father said that everyone Should stick to his own kind, Jews to Jews, Colored to colored, Latin to Latin, Sorted and labeled Like nails and screws and bolts In jars along the shelf. Uncle Morris railed against Spic gangs… Read more ›
A Jewish Nose
One look at me, You can tell that I’m no Irishman. The hallmark of my race Is stamped upon my face Like an appellation controlee Affixed to a bottle of French wine As my father used to say, A Jewish… Read more ›
Snipe Hunting in the Blue Ridge
To hunt for snipe requires A pirate’s cunning And a child’s willful suspension Of disbelief. No adults need apply. One whiff of them, The creature slinks away, Crinkling his snout And hoisting his tail In undisguised disdain. Nor is snipe… Read more ›
Becoming Mastroianni
I was a precocious child. I declared myself An existentialist at age 15, Before I could even spell it, Convinced that if God wasn’t absent He was certainly sleeping on the job. That same year I saw La Dolce Vita… Read more ›
The Late Unpleasantness Between the Generations
Hey punk, You with the ring in his nose And stapled ear Who looks like a cross between The Laughing Cow And the loser in a fight With a collating machine, Watch Out! With Viagra and Botox To level the… Read more ›
The Preacher’s Gone Mad
On Sunday the preacher , to the consternation of his congregants, decided to found a whole new faith, The Brethren of the Here and Now. There aint no second act, he sanctimoniously declared, so sit back and enjoy the first.… Read more ›
Las Vegas, 2011
In Vegas you can get Tori, a comely co-ed from L.A. Delivered to your door In twenty minutes flat Or else she’s free. Twins are only fifty dollars more. But I’ve got Irma with me, Tigress of the AARP And… Read more ›
The Professor’s Lament
In spring the co-eds blossom, While I simply age, Not like a good, mellow wine Or the patina of a Turkaman, That would be some consolation, But more like an abandoned orchard, Its remaining fruit blighted With nasty brown dots,… Read more ›