Persuasion
after thirty years of finding his dirty dishes in conspicuous places his wife appeared one morning with a dual-action pistol and forced him to load the washer at gunpoint cleaning up the mess he left in the bathroom was… Read more ›
Category Archives: On the Lighter Side
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Never Cross Da Boss
(Lucky Luciano’s version of the Jonah story) Never cross Da Boss. He asks him to go down to Ninevah, set the gang there straight, no rough stuff, just a little par-lay, and Jonah says just kill them all. … Read more ›
Bond Has Hemorrhoids
“What’s the matter James?” the Eurasian beauty asked, “Not in the mood?” “It’s a delicate matter,” he replied. wincing at the pain. Too many dry martinis. High-speed chases in an Aston-Martin with a bad suspension. An awkward leap from a… Read more ›
Sweets and Coffee
We brush off the flour by tapping the pieces against the side of the box. and clump by clump, we savor the chewy dough, the small bits of pistachio clinging to the roofs of our mouths. This most sublime… Read more ›
R.I.P.
he went peacefully in the early hours succumbing to erectile dysfunction his final request was a last sponge bath from the attractive nurse some of the mourners whispered that the illness was hereditary others talked of his heroic battle against… Read more ›
Scrabble Love
A passion for language set their hearts aflutter, not only for the bingos like ECSTASY that earned an extra fifty points but for smaller words like QI the Chinese force inherent in all things and KA the Egyptian word for… Read more ›
Ménage à Trois Woofs
The first time John slept with Emily her boxer, Tyson, climbed into the bed and refused to budge, shifting his ninety pound bulk until, his derrière coming to rest at last against John’s head, he became a one-dog band, snoring… Read more ›
A Famous Student
Yes, I remember Hannibal. A voracious reader with a huge appetite for learning. Devoured everything he could get his hands on. We differed just once and only because he had a bone to pick. He ate his heart out when… Read more ›
For Our Former Financial Advisor
I should write this in red ink like the losses in the quarterly statements we blithely ignored what were you thinking when you whisked us away on a two-year Carnival cruise in treacherous seas of wild speculation, the china… Read more ›
Access Denied
She claims to know my heart’s desire better than my heart. Welcome back, she says in her manufactured voice, we have suggestions for you: a wine aerator which helps your Beaujolais to breathe, a dummy’s guide to Quantum Physics, a… Read more ›