Ratings
After searching for a mattress on the web for over a month, sifting through reviews and forums, reading the litany of kudos and complaints, he began to see his whole life in terms of ratings. He missed the five star… Read more ›
Category Archives: On the Lighter Side
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Archive
la latina
La Latina is a doting hostess in the kitchen, a puta in your bed at night, a paragon of cleanliness who scrubs the counters clean with Lysol wipes, a marathon talker who calls her sister twice a day to discuss… Read more ›
poet’s fate
hunting for the elusive Mot Juste he was assailed by swarms of Tired Cliches and swallowed whole by the Great Mundane (Originally published in Three Line Poetry)
Joseph the Shrink
I’m sitting across the desk from Dr. Yusef Ben Yakov describing my dream about murdering my brother. He is wearing his alpaca cardigan of many colors. A photo of Portifar’s wife inscribed sorry it didn’t work out sits next to… Read more ›
what Darwin knew
The twinkie is extinct, they recently announced. We used to nail them to the wall to see how long they would last. I guess even the finest chemicals can’t preserve things forever. Take the bible thumpers who believe the Grand… Read more ›
survivors
Survivors they hang on like plants well past their season dolled up in beehive hairdos heavy mascara and rouged cheeks the earth may want them but damned if they’ll go gently into that awful night to be acknowledged only… Read more ›
assimilation
Roberta, née Rawa in Iraq, weary of explaining to the salesgirls in cosmetics her reasons for wearing a hijab, decided to let her lustrous hair flow down and no longer cringed when her husband’s friends, emboldened by cocktails, gave her… Read more ›
three loves
Lou had a low IQ, Rose a bent Semitic nose, but Cass, O darling Cass, what a wonderful Irish ass. (Originally published in Three Line Poetry)
Spare Parts
our hips and knees were not created in God’s image after all but subbed out to a committee of crazed angels high on ambrosial nectar and intent on making man a little lower than themselves the design working well in… Read more ›
for the environment’s sake
bitte we implore you for the environment’s sake drop your towels on the floor if you want them changed use water sparingly shower with your spouse flush only when necesary turn off the lights find your way at night with… Read more ›