Bond Has Hemorrhoids
“What’s the matter James?”
the Eurasian beauty asked,
“Not in the mood?”
“It’s a delicate matter,” he replied.
wincing at the pain.
Too many dry martinis.
High-speed chases
in an Aston-Martin
with a bad suspension.
An awkward leap
from a moving train in Bangladesh.
To be an aging action hero
was no picnic.
She looked at him
with her exotic olive eyes.
“Do you still love me James?”
“Not tonight, I’m afraid.”
He inserted each cufflink
carefully in place
and went back to the Casino
to try his luck at Baccarat
and see if he could spot
his bald Chinese nemesis,
hopefully as out of shape as he.
(originally published in Hobo Pancakes)