Mr. Herpes, Hertz,
Heifetz, excuse me.
How is your day going?
No need for such language, sir,
I am calling to offer you
a totally free
Caribbean cruise for two.
Allow me to express
my deepest feelings for your loss.
May I call back next year
when you have found another wife?
(Originally published in Iridium Sound: Churn My Butter)